


You And I Both

by kashmir



Series: You and I Both [2]
Category: Casey/Zeke -- The Faculty
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-21
Updated: 2004-07-21
Packaged: 2018-01-10 04:43:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1155232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kashmir/pseuds/kashmir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post high school/college fic... Zeke looks back on his relationship with Casey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You And I Both

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired in some way known only to me by Jason Mraz's You and I Both. [Lyrics here](http://www.jasonmraz.com/Lyrics/YouAndIBoth.html) if anyone is interested. I wrote the first part as a just a stand alone. But the feedback was so overwhelming, I had to write a second part to go along with it. And now there's a third one, too. This fic has a mind of its own. Thanks ever so much to everyone who left feeback -- you guys make this worthwhile.

Zeke had always known he was a son of a bitch. He'd come to terms with that years ago. Over the years people had added heartless and single-minded to that description. His ability to charm people was what had gotten him where he was today.

CEO of his own venture capitalist firm, which, in the three and a half years they had been operating had been in the black for all but one year. He had a penthouse on the Upper East Side. A Lexus. A closet full of Armani suits.

And one huge, empty hole in his heart.

He snickered as he swallowed the last of his scotch. Guess he wasn't as heartless as everyone thought. No, he could feel his heart every hour of every day. He was always aware of its presence and the fact that for five years, it hadn't beat the way it had before.

Before.

Before he'd been the biggest asshole on the face of the planet and let the only good thing that had ever happened to him in his miserable existence slip away from him.

He let out a sigh of disgust as he got up from his leather chair to pour himself more scotch. He could've prevented everything. He could, at this very minute, be lying beside Casey, running his hand through his silky hair, just like he had done countless times years before and soothe away all that nervous energy that had to be zinging under his skin now.

His little Casey had made it. Just like he always knew he would.

Stan had been the one to send him the invite to Casey's gallery opening two months ago, before he'd gone back to Ohio for the wedding. No letter or explanation -- just a small pink post it with the words 'Thought you'd like to know.'

The invitation was hanging on the front of his stainless steel fridge now, taunting him with what he'd given up. He leaned back against the kitchen counter and stared at the invite, remembering. He knew he could've prevented everything, changed everything. But he hadn't. He'd taken the easy way out and ended up hurting the only person who ever really believed in him.

Who had ever really loved him.

He made his way back into the living room, plunking down once again in his leather chair, staring at the blank TV screen.

How the hell had five years gone by already?

It seemed like only a few days ago that he had convinced Casey to go with him to Billy's for a few drinks one boring Wednesday evening. Zeke was still riding high from his recent promotion but he could already feel the added pressure at work to fit in and be 'normal.' Status quo.

Zeke had never quite been the 'status quo.'

Stan and Stokes had once accused him of selling out, right after he'd started working in the mailroom. He knew, though, that he could be good, hell, great at this. It was a dog eat dog world, he'd known that for years. Zeke had always known what he had been excellent at. One of those talents was bullshit. He could bullshit his way into or out of anything.

Was how he'd gotten to be a junior exec at the very young age of 21. One of the youngest in company history, he'd been told at the time of his promotion. He'd also been warned that, for his own good, maybe he ought to start bringing young, pretty little _girls_ to company functions with him. Instead of his friend that he usually brought.

His boss had given him a smile that hadn't quite reached his eyes and added, "You wouldn't want to be the youngest junior exec fired, now would you?"

Zeke had been stunned. He knew that even in New York, not everyone was accepting of two men openly living with one another like he did with Casey. He hadn't known what to do. Casey was the home he'd never known when he was growing up and this job, this opportunity, was the _security_ he'd never had.

He felt like he had been between a rock and a hard place.

Zeke had known that Casey knew something was up. They just knew each other that well. He could see it in Casey's expressive eyes that he knew something was drastically wrong.

But he hadn't been able to say a damn word.

Many, many late nights as he lay awake unable to sleep, Casey curled up to his side, he'd cursed his inability to just _tell him_. Things could've been so different. Yeah, he might have been out of a job. But there would've been others.

And Casey would still be his.

Zeke had been young and stupid, though. He hadn't been thinking, well, he thought as he got up and moved to stare out his floor to ceiling windows, he hadn't been thinking at all. Casey would've understood, he would've been so supportive. That was just how Casey was.

Twenty one year old Zeke, though, didn't think like this. He still worried that one day, Casey would realize how wonderful he really was and leave him to find someone who actually deserved him. Someone who wasn't Zeke. And Zeke was positive that if he got fired, Casey would figure that one out sooner rather than later.

Twenty six year old Zeke laughed a bitter laugh.

He still didn't deserve Casey, never had, and never would. Didn't stop him from loving him like he'd never loved anyone, before or since. Zeke knew he also didn't have it in him to love anyone like that ever again.

Casey was it for him.

So when Casey had presented him with an easy out, he'd gone. Taking all the bright, shiny memories with him.

Along with the shards of his broken heart and the knowledge that he was the one who had caused his Casey's eyes to shine so bright with tears.

When he'd seen him at the wedding last month, all those feelings he kept just barely beneath the surface had come rushing up, choking him. He'd basked for a few moments in the warmth that was Casey's smile and then he remembered what he'd done, what had happened.

Why he'd had slept alone for the past five years.

So he'd made his escape, making up some lame excuse and practically running from Casey.

*********  
He slowly made his way through his bottle of scotch as the evening wore on. Going over and over what Casey had said to him that last night after they got home from Billy's.

_"I'm always just a phone call away, Zeke. I'll always love you."_

The later it got, the more furtive glances he threw at the sleek black phone sitting on the table beside him. He'd called Stan an hour ago and coerced Casey's number out of him.

He could've sworn he had Stokes mumbling something that sounded like 'About goddamn time' in the background.

It took him another half a bottle of scotch to work up the nerve to actually punch in the numbers.

And another quarter of a bottle to actually hit 'send.'

But then he heard him, sounding out of breath and just as lost and alone as he was.

All that escaped him was a sigh that sounded suspiciously like 'Casey.'

Casey must have heard him, though, because he paused for a second and then inquired, "Zeke?"

He took a deep breath, looked longingly at the scotch and then stammered, "Yeah. Listen, I-I know a lot of time has passed but... You're still only a phone call away, right?"

When he answered him, Zeke could hear the smile in his voice, "Yeah, Zeke, yeah."

Zeke let out a breath he hadn't been aware of holding and plunged forward.

"You think maybe you could come over? I think we need to talk."


End file.
